Care Scare

Adam starts his last fortnight at his playschool tomorrow. He will have been there for 3 years! That is hard to believe... He was almost 2 when he first went to Janet's and I remember the first day I left him there and how he cried every time I dropped him for the first 2 weeks. And I remember the reassuring texts from Janet telling me had was fine about 5 minutes later. He has been looked after so well there and I am so grateful for the confidence I was able to have that he was happy, safe and enjoying himself every day. Janet is a unique childcare provider in that she runs a playschool for 3 hours every morning, but also offers childcare for working parentsfor the remainder of the day, as needed.

A couple of weeks ago the number one news story in Ireland was the poor care of children in creches. A TV show had a researcher pose as an employee in three different creches and secretly film what some of the other employees got up to. It should be said at the outset that there was by no means wholescale physical abuse or neglect.  However, the footage there was was definitely disturbing enough to send a chill through every working parent in the country... kids being yelled at, left in highchairs for hours, expected to nap on flimsy mats in fully lit rooms, carers on their phones while responsible for a roomful of kids...  As you would expect, this set light to a national debate on the issue of childcare. Is it better to have your kids looked after in their own home? Who keeps an eye on the private childminders anyway? Is it healthier for children to be with other kids in a creche environment? How much training do creche employees need? Why do Irish parents pay so much more than their European counterparts for daycare?

The juggling of parenting, work and family time is hard enough without adding the extra layer of stress and worry many parents would have experienced in the aftermath of the programme.  Some parents I heard on the radio said they had decided to leave their kids in the creches concerned as they felt these were isolated incidents and the staff members concerned were no longer there. Others moved their kids immediately and there was much talk of creches that allowed parents to access secure weblinks to check on their kids periodically. One of the facilities featured is up the road from our house; when I had my haircut the day after the show aired, the only topic in the hairdressers was the creche and how horrified people had been by the programme.

It is all such a head wrecker!  When I got my previous job, childcare was the one big issue to resolve. It was a scary thing. At the time we had 2 pre-schoolers and I was going to be in the office 3 days a week. We decided to keep the boys together - so not in a creche where they would be in separate aged rooms. We thought a childminder was the best option so I put a notice up advertising our need for someone in a few local shops.

I got 3 responses:
The first lady was down the road in the next village and we went to meet her. She had a son who was between my 2 in age and a daughter who was ten. The house was clean and tidy and she was very friendly. However... I very quickly had some concerns and my Mummy Sensor started tingling.
1. No books in the playroom, just a big tv. Not good.
2. She said she didn't smoke, but I came across cigarette butts in the bathroom. Really very very bad.
3. Her son was quite rowdy and she had limited success in curbing his behaviour.
There were a couple of other things and all in all they added up to a feeling that I wasn't sure this was the right lady to look after my boys...

The next call I got was from a woman who arranged to meet me for coffee and a chat. I waited and waited and waited and she never turned up!  I left a few messages and never heard from her again!  That was hardly the best way to make me convinced that she was the right person to leave in my home with my kids... reliable? punctual? um, no.

I talked to a friend about this and we realised it was the same woman she had interviewed previously when she was looking for a childminder.  My friend had discovered that this woman was the daughter of a notorious gangland tough guy in Dublin. Instead of feeling annoyed she hadn't turned up, I began to feel relieved...

But I was getting a bit scared at this stage...! How can you be sure anyone will be a good carer for your kids on the basis of meeting them and having a chat? Were the two people I had met so far as good as it got?

And then Janet rang me - I went to see her and the first thing I saw when I walked in was a big box of books, including a children's Bible. The place was light, airy and totally child friendly. She was so gentle and professional and one of the first things she told me was that she, her husband and both her her parents who visited frequently had been garda-vetted.

That was in August 2010 and now we have 10 more drop offs and pick ups at Janet's left to go... I know that she offers exceptional care and I am so grateful for her.

Anyone can start childminding - I mind 2 kids on a Thursday afternoon in a private arrangement with some friends. It has been fantastic and I have seen it from the other side, although it has only been for a few hours per week as opposed to a full time job. There have been many calls for more regulation in this whole area, for childminders as well as creches as the debate has rumbled on since the tv show. I can see that this is necessary and will help assuage parental fears and concerns. It remains a very difficult issue though and each family has to find the best solution to suit their needs and their individual kids.

For us, Adam's last fortnight is a bit of a milestone and from September onwards we will have 2 schoolboys!  Astonishing!

Blogging Break

Someone said to me on Friday that they enjoyed my blog and when was I going to write again?  Quite shocked to realise my last entry was in November.... how did that happen? As in, how did 7 months zoom by without me realising? 

One of the reasons is that I started up a mini company / initiative / thing called IT Confidence.  My Dad got an iPhone and I was helping him make the most of it, when he suggested that was something I could help others with, and potentially charge for. And not just iPhones, but laptops, iPads, kindles, all manner of devices.  

It made sense, so I decided to go ahead and have had quite a few clients since then.  They have had me install and teach Skype, or look at using RTE Player, help them be secure on Facebook, or just be more confident in using their technology.  It has been very enjoyable for the most part and I hope it will grow.

It is almost exactly a year since I finished up my old job as an Admin/PA.  Although I really enjoyed the work, I can honestly say that I really haven't missed the job at all.  The relief of not having to be an employee and a mother and a house wife all in the same day! The difference in being able to plan out my own week without having to jump through childcare hoops as meetings occurred outside my normal working hours! 

An article I read at the weekend was commenting that this generation of young women knows too much about being a working Mum.  Previous generations of women were breaking new ground and went for it, discovering the issues along the way. Then the whole concept of 'having it all' began to be thrashed out, written about and debated. The writer of this piece quoted recent films like What To Expect When Your Expecting and Friends With Kids, both of which I happen to have seen recently.  She reckons that the whole issue is so over discussed, over analysed and over filmed that women her age are now often convinced that they can't have it all and in many cases delay having kids or decide not to instead of attempting to juggle career and kids, as the myth that they can be a successful career woman and a good mother has been thoroughly debunked.

Well, the title 'career woman' was not exactly applicable to me; nor did I want it to be. That doesn't mean I didn't want to work outside the home. But there are so many factors to consider: childcare, school holidays, sick kids, husband travelling with his work... the list goes on and on.
Despite racking my brains as I finished work, there didn't seem to be an obvious next job for me, in which I could be at the school gates at the right time, without breaking the speed limit on the N11 every day. One in which I could have some responsibility, but not too much, so that I could just leave work at work and be with the kids 100% when at home. And one in which I could design my own schedule and be in charge of my own time. The reason there wasn't an obvious next job should be apparent... 

Until my Dad said what he did - what a genius!  It ticked all the boxes and I have enjoyed the challenge of teaching people to make the most of their technology.  It has been incredibly varied and interesting; different devices, different abilities, just different people! I can honestly say that I never expected to start my own 'company'.  I use the speech marks, as it seems kind of small to give it that title.  But it is officially registered with the correct authorities as such, so I guess it truly is.

It's a great solution for a Mum of young kids - I feel like I am able to contribute a bit to the finances of Keene Inc and I am also able to exercise my brain with something other than cleaning or the kids.  But, this is all on my own schedule, and that's the key for working Mums, combining everything is tricky.  Media stories like the recent scare over the quality of care in Ireland's creches really don't help, as they only add to the stress and guilt of the whole scenario.

I am not expecting IT confidence to make me a millionaire...  although I think Andrew is hoping to retire soon on that basis. It is just great to have something that can fit into family life without fuss or drama and I don't take for granted what a rare and amazing opportunity this is.

IT Confidence is therefore to blame a bit for the lack of blogging!  But I will make an effort to be a better blogger from now on...