Here we are 7 months later and it is still out of order. But now we are not thinking of replacing it. I actually don't mind washing up at all! It's pretty great to open the kitchen cupboards and find plates and dishes that are where they should be, ready to be used. It was kind of a novel concept for a while and now I am used to it. I don't mind the time spent washing up, it's kind of peaceful, with music on. I will also admit to a bit of Netflix with my laptop perched where I can see it, at minimum safe splash distance.
I remember getting our very first dishwasher as a kid. It felt like the absolute height of luxury. We had the reached the pinnacle of civilisation and nothing would ever top this! Then as a young married couple we bought a half sized one with some redundancy money Andy got, after he got a new job, I hasten to add. When the boys were babies our full sized dishwasher seemed permanently full of bottles and small fiddly bowls and tiny spoons. And, of course, in true marital rows cliche, according to Andrew, I am hopeless at stacking the dishwasher. He approaches it with a Tetris mindset, whereas I just want the stuff off the kitchen counter and out of sight.
My parents used to highlight washing up in their marriage guidance teaching as a great time to chat, to sort through any disagreements or catch up on each others' days. Also a great time to talk to kids without them feeling trapped in parental spotlights, if there are any little topics that need attention. It's something that has gradually been eroded. Yet the dishwasher doesn't really give you that time back in any constructive way - it creates a new chore, but without the same opportunity for conversation. This isn't meant to be an anti-tech post - there are many labour saving devices in the home that I wouldn't be without for even a week! But the dishwasher? We decided to try and do without.
Mostly Andrew and I have been washing up since then. But this month, our calendar had a specific instruction for us - see above! Better yet, Matthew was very taken with the idea! So, I decided that the boys were old enough to help, without smashing all the crockery. I washed, Matthew dried and Adam put things away, with supervisory guidance for both boys from Andrew to avoid sharp knife or wine glass incidents.
I have memories of many such times as a child - my sister and I used to bicker about who got to put away instead of drying up, as the former seemed like the easier chore somehow. On the other hand, my husband was never asked to do anything in the home, his Mum did all of the chores. This calendar prompt seemed like a good time to start the boys off with a daily chore that is communal and makes them aware that the family team has to work together to get stuff done in the house.
As the calendar was quite strict in demanding dancing and singing, we made a play list for the event and it was great! The boys both got stuck in and it was all surprisingly quick! And it was fun. Adam's bum wiggles while at the cutlery drawer were really quite spectacular and Matthew turned out to be a dab hand with the tea towel.
Although, on reflection, the inclusion of Jump Around in the playlist may have been a mistake. Firstly, it kind of contradicts one of the other songs, and it also may not be the best accompanying music to primary school children holding plates. But we had beginner's luck, I guess! No breakages... It was such a success overall, that yesterday, Adam turned to me eagerly after dinner: 'Mummy, Mummy, can we do that thing where we sing and dance and wash up and clean?' Why, yes, son, we can! What a great idea! He also earnestly suggested few new songs for the list. Meanwhile after breakfast today I started rinsing off the cereal bowls only to be reprimanded sternly that I wasn't playing the washing up music. Matthew pointed this out, while picking up the tea towel, without even being asked to! Yes, really, without being asked. Talk about a parenting win!
This may be a blip and a short term parental windfall. The hope is that the kids will get into the habit during the time they still think of this as fun. The calendar will be there for the whole month and the eldest at least will consider this a strict instruction for the whole of January. The true test will be February! Here's to dry, chapped hands and happy conversations - best trade off ever!
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